I'm not going to lie, the past few months have been such a struggle when it comes to our Dom/sub dynamic. Such a struggle.  First, the only real reason I ever got punished was for failing to follow the rules regarding respect. When I got busy or distracted, I'd sometimes lose my mind and not follow the expectations Jason has for me.  I'm home now. I follow the rules. It's been months since I've done anything even close to earning me punishment, other than a mildly snippy tone one or twice that earned me little more than a warning or a smack on the ass, and I quickly got myself back in line.  The very purpose of this dynamic for so many of us is to reach our expectations, to become better people, to draw closer to our partners. And once we've reached a place of complacency... well, what then?  He has no reason to punish me.  Privacy is at a major premium these days, as you all well know, so it's hard to fully embrace our roles when there are children constant...

Hey, all, the second blog post didn't happen, because I ended up unexpectedly under the weather. Not Covid! But I got hit with a migraine and a reaction to wheat (who knew it would take me over forty years to realize I can't eat wheat...).  Better now!  Jason paid attention to me over the past few days, but the check-ins were few and far between. I've done everything I set out to do in June, as far as submitting to him. Being his good girl. And then last night, I crawled into bed in my jammies, my hair in a braid, and laid by his side and just looked at him. When I braid my hair he always says I'm cute. Maybe it brings out the "little girl" in me.  "This was a great day," I said. It had been a simple but really lovely day. I went for a long bike ride with my daughter, we'd grilled, we had a fire pit and roasted marshmallows. There's something about the Fourth of July and s'mores and glow sticks my kids really love. "I'm really ve...

Hey, everyone.  Okay so I missed a week. I'm back at it! And I'm posting twice this week to make up for it, does that count? Let's say that counts. :)  This is what I committed to in June:   Weekly blogging (missed one week) Performing acts of submission daily for my husband, to help bring myself into a submissive headspace. (done!) Kissing my husband every single day. (done!) Bringing myself back to saying, "Yes, daddy." (done!) Continuing weekly date night. (yep!) I thrive on challenges, so I'm probably going to shake things up a little in July.  About a week or so ago, I was cuddling up with Jason before bed.  "Wow. Nearly two decades of marriage and I still kinda liked you," I told him jokingly. "I'm still super into you."  He smiled, and gave me a squeeze. "Yeah," he said. "But you know when things really changed?"  I knew what he was going to say, but I waited.  "It was when you asked me to spank you....

Hi, everyone! Just checking in from last week. I said in my last post that for the month of June I was going to commit to  Weekly blogging Performing acts of submission daily for my husband, to help bring myself into a submissive headspace.  Kissing my husband every single day.  Bringing myself back to saying, "Yes, daddy."  Continuing weekly date night.  And I'm happy to say, it went so well! Simple things, but they made a really big difference. He's even eager to make sure we make kissing... and, ahem...other things... very routine. There's something about putting me over his lap often that keeps everything else going as well.  We did get into an argument this week. This current political climate is so challenging, and we've hashed it all out. We've been married for a while, so we've navigated these waters before, and nothing was really new. Still, I have a tendency to get really heated when I'm passionate about something. Soooo, I had a few thin...

Hey there, everyone.  I fell down an overwhelm sinkhole the past few weeks. My emails piled up, my admin work for my business piled up. I was in flat-out "survival mode." Just getting back. Just doing the most important work, trying to get food on the table, schoolwork done, and keeping the kids sane when quarantine fatigue settled in.  And did it ever.  The habits that I've taken months to form started to fray. Jason and I were drifting apart again. You know, it's funny, I bet if I said that to him he would likely wonder what was wrong... you know, the whole Mars and Venus thing. We weren't fighting. As married couples go, things were pretty darned good. But for a D/s couple? Things were waning a bit. I was getting snippier. He was pulling away.  We've been doing this for over seven years. Eight this fall, to be honest. And I know that we just go through these seasons. When we first began, it was often a season of growth. It was at times painful for me, learn...

I do a lot of reading on self-help, marketing, and the like, often for my business.     I guess I’m just weird, because I love reading about habit formation, goal setting, and productivity. Jason says it’s the “type eight” (enneagram) in me. Just my personality type. Anyhow, one common thread in many of these books is the importance of keeping good habits going. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld is quoted often in the books I read for his advice on “not breaking the chain.” Since he’s a comedian, he writes jokes professionally. He keeps a calendar beside his bed, and every day that he writes a joke, he makes an “x.” And his advice to new and upcoming comedians is “don’t break the chain.” In other words,  it’s more important to stay consistent with a habit than it is to go hardcore.  Yes, this applies to the D/s lifestyle. And no, I’m not talking about consistency from a punishment point of view. Stay with me.  I can attest to the power of sticking with someth...

To any of those who’ve commented on my blog, for some reason I can’t get it to allow me to comment back! My apologies. I’m going to keep on trying new browsers.  ~ It’s a funny thing, knowing just how badly I want this. Early on into the quarantine, it wasn’t as prevalent on my mind. We were deep in the throes of a worldwide pandemic. We were unsure about damn near everything, so our dynamic taking a backseat happened organically. I didn’t really question it. Jason was scared. I was scared. We weren’t sure how we were going to manage everyone at home, and our jobs, our aging parents. In a time of widespread uncertainty, we pulled inward and regrouped.  A few weeks in, I started longing for this again. I blogged a little bit about it, how I finally lost my mind and had a meltdown. How he stepped in, and how wonderful and simultaneously hard that was. Some of you wrote to me, some of you said I wrote exactly what you were feeling.  But it isn’t all sunshine...