I do a lot of reading on self-help, marketing, and the like, often for my business.     I guess I’m just weird, because I love reading about habit formation, goal setting, and productivity. Jason says it’s the “type eight” (enneagram) in me. Just my personality type. Anyhow, one common thread in many of these books is the importance of keeping good habits going. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld is quoted often in the books I read for his advice on “not breaking the chain.” Since he’s a comedian, he writes jokes professionally. He keeps a calendar beside his bed, and every day that he writes a joke, he makes an “x.” And his advice to new and upcoming comedians is “don’t break the chain.” In other words,  it’s more important to stay consistent with a habit than it is to go hardcore.  Yes, this applies to the D/s lifestyle. And no, I’m not talking about consistency from a punishment point of view. Stay with me.  I can attest to the power of sticking with someth...

To any of those who’ve commented on my blog, for some reason I can’t get it to allow me to comment back! My apologies. I’m going to keep on trying new browsers.  ~ It’s a funny thing, knowing just how badly I want this. Early on into the quarantine, it wasn’t as prevalent on my mind. We were deep in the throes of a worldwide pandemic. We were unsure about damn near everything, so our dynamic taking a backseat happened organically. I didn’t really question it. Jason was scared. I was scared. We weren’t sure how we were going to manage everyone at home, and our jobs, our aging parents. In a time of widespread uncertainty, we pulled inward and regrouped.  A few weeks in, I started longing for this again. I blogged a little bit about it, how I finally lost my mind and had a meltdown. How he stepped in, and how wonderful and simultaneously hard that was. Some of you wrote to me, some of you said I wrote exactly what you were feeling.  But it isn’t all sunshine...

And then, I had a meltdown.  Last week, I did a short blog about how we’re sort of struggling through the craziness of this quarantine. I said, “I’m dying inside a little.”  Jason knew I missed how we relate to each other. But I think we both got so invested in “survival mode” that we didn’t realize how far gone I was. It’s so difficult to hold everything together when the one person who helps me through it all is checked out.  I can do it. I’ve done it before. But it’s painful.  I finally went to him, told him how I felt, and promptly burst into tears. I told him everything. “I’m trying so hard to be positive. But it’s killing me, not having what we had. Not calling you daddy, or kneeling, or being put into a submissive mindset like we used to.”  He just held me while I cried and said, “I know. We’ll make this happen.”  “I just haven’t been thinking about it. It’s the only way I can get through,” I told him.  “I know,” he said...

Ahhhh. So we thought it was hard to get privacy before the kids and puppy were here all day long, every day, for twenty-four hours, and we both didn't have to balance work and school and meals and housecleaning.  Oh boy. Yes, that was tough back then, to find the times. It seems so long ago now.  And here we are. With my lovely little woodshed nestled in my back yard, surrounded by neighbors that are home all day long , and kids that are using it to Zoom teachers and classmates and friends. Now, don't get me wrong. I am oh-so-glad I have that shed. It is the only thing making uninterrupted work time even possible now. But morning maintenance is but a distance memory. I've gone over his knee maybe twice in as many weeks, and those were for the briefest little tastes of what I crave.  I'm not gonna lie, you guys. It's hard. It's really, really hard. I kinda feel like a part of me is dying inside a little. I crave Jason's attention. I miss being on my kne...

Which of those spankos among us haven’t given at least some thought to a woodshed spanking? I know I read books when I was younger, and there was a certain phrase, “a trip to the woodshed,” the age old classic line. If you got a trip to the woodshed, you got a spanking, whether you actually went to the woodshed or not.  Jason and I seem to have come full circle, then, it seems.  He suggested I build “an office shed,” a private place where I could work uninterrupted. With a large family like ours, privacy is scarce and quiet nearly nonexistent. So I leapt at this chance. I needed that quiet space. So I researched. I bought a shed. I hired someone to build it, and decided if we were going to do this, we were going to do it right. We live in a place where the changes of seasons are fierce—cold, snowy winters and hot, humid summers. So I needed something insulated, with electricity, heat, and lighting.  Jason hinted about the shed serving a dual purpos...

Jason is sick, y’all. Sore throat, body aches, runny nose, I-ain’t-up-for-much-of-anything sick. Hotguysinbed on IG because why not. What does a needy babygirl do during times like these? Well, we cry a lot. Nah, just kidding. Over the years since we’ve been doing this, I’ve learned a few ways to cope when he can’t do any of the things I crave, such as Spank me. Pay attention to me. Have sex. Discipline me. Or, you know, pretty much anything at all that’s fun and exciting in this. 😄 I know he needs his rest, and he doesn’t need me hounding him or whining, so here are a few things that take the edge off. 1.      Serve him. I ask if he needs anything. Tissues? Water? Soup? He’s a pretty self-sufficient guy, but it makes me feel good to be able to serve him in even a little capacity. 2.      Still talk. Even though he isn’t up for hours-long conversations, I try to keep him updated as muc...

Sometimes, the emotional impact of things around me hits me hard. When someone I love is hurting, loses a loved one, or sadness and tragedy strike close to home, it’s difficult for me to deflect the emotions around me. That’s what happened very recently.  I needed Jason. He knew I did. I knew I did. I did everything I could on my own, managing my own self-care and what I could control, but the weight of empathic emotion grew heavy, and the submissive in me craved being put back in the right headspace. Sometimes I can put myself there. Sometimes, I need Jason.  I think it’s important for any submissive to note where that line is. Sometimes, when I hear from other submissives, they think that it’s always the job of their Dom/Domme to put them back in a submissive place, to discipline or hold them accountable, to prioritize maintenance or the like. Sometimes, it’s the opposite. Dominants expect their submissives to be able to fully maintain submission without their help....