The first post

Hi, readers, new and old. 

For many years, I blogged over at THE TAMING OF THE SHREW, shortly after my husband and I began our new lifestyle. That was seven years ago. 

When I began that blog, I had young children. My youngest was just a baby, my oldest under ten. Jason and I had just begun our whole journey into the domestic discipline lifestyle that would lead us to a full-time, 24-7 Dom/sub dynamic. I was a stay-at-home homeschooling mom. Jason was the primary breadwinner. My entire life revolved around serving my family. 

It took some time for us to find our footing, but when we did it was glorious. We were thriving. I loved blogging, chronicling our journey deeper into the heart of what two people dedicated to this lifestyle could glean. 

A lot can happen in seven years, y'all. A real lot.

Fast forward to seven years later. 

I'm no longer a stay-at-home mom. While our family size hasn't changed, we've taken on the care of elderly parents. Our oldest children are teen-agers, and the kids are now in school. No longer small children and babies, my children have interests and sports and activities that involve a lot more time and upheaval to our day to day than they did before. And perhaps the biggest change of all is that I now work full-time, managing my business as the primary breadwinner. I travel for work, and while my focus still incorporates some serving -- I'm a mom and wife, after all -- it isn't the primary focus anymore. Now I manage my full-time job, my career, a team of people who work for me, and business travel. I manage extra-curriculars and car pools and multiple schools with multiple calendars. 

Though the essence of who we are has stayed the same, how we relate to one another has drastically changed. 

Back when I was a stay-at-home mom, I would wake up in the morning with my focus the caring for my family and husband. The maintenance Jason gave served to keep me centered and stress-free, reminding me to obey him, but it came fairly natural then. The rules we had were structured around keeping me safe, keeping our lines of communication open, and helping me achieve some of my personal goals. 

Now, when I wake up in the morning, it's more about what needs to get done. Though I still focus primarily on the care of my family and husband, my goals are so very different. I have work hours to meet, deadlines and goals, financial decisions to make, people who work for me to communicate with. The teens are going here and there, there are papers to sign and checks to write and doctor appointments for aging parents. My days are so much fuller than they were before, that it's easy for days to slip past when Jason and I don't get to check in. 

The rules I used to have, that until very recently I was still repeating to Jason in our morning check-ins, are no longer pertinent. I knew I still wanted to blog, because my submission to Jason and his leadership over me are still such a very integral way of how we communicate. But I wasn't the girl who started that old blog anymore. 

Though a part of me is still that girl... a part of me will always be the "little girl" who longs to submit to her daddy (and still does), my needs and his are so very different now. Making the time for our dynamic is so much harder than it was before, with the constant demands on our schedules. And it's only getting harder. 

Finally, a few weeks ago, I had a bit of a meltdown. I cried. I wailed. I told Jason that I still need this, but I wasn't sure how we could continue. I felt so lost. I was mourning what we once had, knowing that we couldn't get it back. But we had to do something. How? How would we find the time? 

"My rules don't even apply anymore," I sobbed. "Why do we even have them?" 

And then it dawned on both of us. Something had to change. 

We'd outgrown our old dynamic. 

There was nothing wrong with it. I love how close we drew to one another in that time. But we were really only going through the motions at this point. I still got punished when I misbehaved or broke a rule, but that was so rare that it didn't really keep us going for long. It was sort of a reminder that yes, he's still in charge, and yes, I'm still submissive to him. 

But when I run my own business, I make executive decisions. I don't defer to him on every decision I make (nor does he want me to). And though legally we're co-owners of my business, I'm the one that makes the big decisions. I do discuss much with him, but he trusts me to run that ship. 

I also run our home. I manage the schedules, the appointments, the meals, and much of what our children need. Jason does all the bills and also all the laundry (which is a lot), but it's also a fairly domestic chore he's taken on himself. 

This is all to say... I'm in a very dominant headspace, most of the day. I wake up no longer in the mindset of service, but in the mindset of "getting things done."

Where did this leave Jason? No longer the primary breadwinner, I feared he'd feel displaced. Purposeless. And though he doesn't feel anything as dramatic as that, it is definitely something we need to work through together. And we are.

I remember reading another blogger once describe how she, as the C.E.O. of a major corporation, had grown accustomed to making executive decisions, so much so that she did so without consulting her husband. He punished her for it, spanked her to tears, and they had to work out where this left the two of them. 

And then I realized. That's us now. 

So we did what we've been doing since day one, what any couple that wants to survive in this dynamic has to do. We talked. We talked some more. Then we talked some more again. 

Jason likes things succinct and to the point, so I thought before I said what I had to say. And every day now, we make time for one another. 

Thanks to those of you who've stuck around. I've shared a lot about me, about us. At times maybe more than I should have. There were times I regretted that, when readers exploited my posts and vulnerability. I got a little uncomfortable sharing on the old blog once I knew that not all readers were kind or supportive. I needed some time to get over that pain. 

So here we are. 

After my breakdown a few weeks ago, he's stepped right back into daddy role. 

The other day, after a typically insanely busy morning, he called me upstairs to him. 

"I have so much to do," I began. 

"I won't take long," he said. "I want you over my knee." 

I nodded. I had my to-do list in hand, since it's part of our daily routine for him to look at it. He looked it over while I positioned myself on his lap. I still love it there. 

He took out the hairbrush. "Daddy, that one hurts so much," I said in a little voice. "Am I being punished?" 

"No," he said. "I'll take it easy." 

And he did. He went over my rules and modified the spanking I needed. I felt centered and calmed, and it was a short but intimate check-in. 

"You do better when we do this," he said. 

"I do." 

"And I've discovered something else, too," he said. 

"Oh?" 

"I'm happier when we do this, too. I get grumpy when we don't check in. I'm happier when we do." 

I smiled. 


He still wants me to submit to him. 
I still want him to.

He still wants to be my leader.
I still want him to. 

He still expects me to obey, to be respectful. 
I still want to. 

He still has rules and expectations of me, and I still get punished if I break those rules. 
I want that, too. 

He still wants to hold me accountable to my goals. 
I want that, too. 

And he still wants to provide for me, to care for me. Though that looks different these days, the essence hasn't changed.

So here we are.

I'm Jason's Girl and my husband is Jason. This is our new blog. Welcome.